"this book deals with epiphenomenalism, which has to do with consciousness as a mere accessory of physiological processes whose presence or absence… makes no difference… whatever you're doing."
Aphra Benn: hello Cervantes: donkey Daniel Defoe: to christen the day! Samuel Richardson: hello Henry Fielding: tittle-tattle tittle-tattle Lawrence Sterne: hello Mary Wolstencraft: vindicated! Jane Austen: here I am! Sir Walter Scott: we’re all doomed! Leo Tolstoy: yes! Honoré de Balzac: oui Edgar Allen Poe: aaaarrrggghhhh! Charlotte Brontë: hello Emily Brontë: hello Anne Brontë: hellooo Nikolai Gogol: vas chi Gustav Flaubert: oui William Makepeace Thackeray: call me “william makepeace thackeray” Nathaniel Hawthorne: the letter “A” Herman Melville: ahoy there! Charles Dickens: london is so beautiful this time of year... Anthony Trollope: good-good-good-good evening! Fyodor Dostoevsky: here come the sleepers Mark Twain: I can’t even spell ‘mississippi’! George Eliot: George reads German! Emile Zola: j’accuse Henry James: howdy miss. Wharton! Thomas Hardy: ooo-arrr! Joseph Conrad: I’m a bloody boring writer... Katherine Mansfield: [cough cough] Edith Wharton: well hello, mr. James! D. H. Lawrence: never heard of it E. M. Forster: never heard of it!
Happy the man, and happy he alone who in all honesty can call today his own; He who has life and strength enough to say "yesterday’s dead & gone-I want to live today."
James Joyce: hello there! Virginia Woolf: I’m losing my mind! Marcel Proust: je me’en souviens plus F. Scott Fitzgerald: baa bababa baa Ernest Hemingway: I forgot the.... Hermann Hesse: oh es ist alle so häßlich Evelyn Waugh: whoooaarr! William Faulkner: tu connait William Faulkner? Anaïs Nin: the strand of pearls Ford Maddox Ford: any colour, as long as it’s black! Jean-Paul Sartre: let’s go to the dome, Simone! Simone de Beauvoir: c’est exact present Albert Camus: the beach... the beach Franz Kafka: what do you want from me?! Thomas Mann: mam Graham Greene: call me "pinky", lovely Jack Kerouac: me car’s broken down... William S. Burroughs: wowwww!
Happy the man, and happy he alone who in all honesty can call today his own; He who has life and strength enough to say "yesterday’s dead & gone-I'm gonna live today."
Kingsley Amis: [cough] Doris Lessing: I hate men! Vladimir Nabokov: hello, little girl... William Golding: achtung busby! J. G. Ballard: instrument binnacle Richard Brautigan: how are you doing? Milan Kundera: I don’t do interviews Ivy Compton Burnett: hello... Paul Theroux: have a nice day! Günter Grass: I’ve found snails! Gore Vidal: oh, it makes me mad! John Updike: run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run... Kazuro Ishiguro: ah so, old chap! Malcolm Bradbury: stroke John Steinbeck, stroke J. D. Salinger Iain Banks: too orange for crows! A. S. Byatt: nine tenths of the law, you know... Martin Amis: [burp] Brett Easton Ellis: aaaaarrrggghhh! Umberto Eco: I don’t understand this either... Gabriel Garcia Marquez: mi casa es su casa Roddy Doyle: ha ha ha! Salman Rushdie: names will live forever...
